Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland-Words cannot describe, but I f$%&ing can!!!

Oh…my…God. You know, I can be forgiving that it was 1972, and movies were not as technologically advanced as they are now. I can be forgiving that it was BBC, and the British like for their movies to look like stage plays when it comes to fantasy. Hell, I can forgive bad acting. But I’m gonna be frank-THIS MOVIE WAS WORSE THAN MORTAL KOMBAT ANNIHILATION!!! We all know the story of Alice in Wonderland, so I won’t bother with a synopsis, but I can very safely say that this movie, on every level, was BAD. Yeah, it was a kid’s movie, but even Natalie was looking at it like it was roadkill. The photography was piss-poor, and with no excuse! 1972 was the year of The Godfather and Deliverance! So I know for a fact that they had better cameras back then! The acting was terrible, especially on the part of Alice, played by then sixteen year-old Fiona Fullerton. And Michael Crawford, the Phantom of the f#$%ing Opera, played the White Rabbit. So of course, Alice follows the long-eared possum on the adventure of a lifetime, or however long it takes shrooms to wear off. It was so bad that Melissa asked, f#$% that, BEGGED me to turn it off. Not because it sucked so badly, but because she said that I looked like I was in excruciating PAIN while watching this pile of steamy poop. Now I’m not saying that no one in the movie knew how to act given the source material. I’m saying that no one in this movie knew how to act PERIOD! I would rather clean a toilet with my face than watch this movie again. Not that it doesn’t have its purposes. I think that if the government were to requisition this movie and use it as a torture device on Al Quida spies that we would be able to shut down the entire organization within an hour as long as we agreed to erase the existence of this travesty of a movie. I don’t mind musicals, but the songs in this movie were not only excessive, but LONG and pointless. Half of them had nothing to do with the scenes! I am fully aware that the dialogue in AnW is random, but for the love of Pete. I would rather sit through a showing of the Terminator Salvation Machinima series than this pile. If I was given the choice of watching this movie or licking a ferret, I would have the mouthwash ready. This movie is that bad. AVOID!!!

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This entry was posted on June 22, 2010 by in Uncategorized.
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