Bad Movies Beware!
Of all the scary stories out there, the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow is the only one that ever really scared the hell out of me. What isn’t scary about some dude with no head riding you down in the middle of the night to lop yours off? SO, imagine my glee when I see a made-for-tv movie shows up in my Netflix queue touting a picture of ol’ Headless himself! I clicked play, assumed my position in my recliner with my toaster waffles and eggs and prepared for some entertainment. What a load of crap! Seven kids end up in Wormwood because the one driving wanted to see his girl’s boobs, and the whole town in hiding from the Headless Horseman of Wormwood. Nope, no Sleepy Hollow in this pile of steaming butt-biscuit. You read it right-WORMWOOD. Population-20-something. Inbred. No, really. They say so in the movie. Of course, Headless shows up and starts offing them Jason Voorhees style one by one. The actual opening scene kind of laid the ground for what I was in for. The Horseman shows up and is chasing a Civil War Rebel soldier through the woods. I’m waiting for a sword or axe, and what I get is a blade-disc that the horseman hurls through the air, decapitating our first victim. So, according to this flick, he’s really a Headless Predator. Go figure. All of the victims in the movie die in the most gratuitous and goofy ways, and the stereotypical slasher flick characters are classically over-acted. You have the jock, the stupid bitchy cheerleader, the girl who eventually grows a spine and fights back, the quiet boy that likes the girl even though she won’t admit she likes him, the best friend who is cool but kind of quirky, the nerd, and the cool girl you think will survive but ends up getting it the worst. The horseman is a failed rip of Tim Burton’s horseman with a long rotted cloak, but the uniform underneath is brand spankin’ new. If you see this movie, avoid unless you just have those extra IQ points burning a hole in your pocket. While not as bad as Mutant Chronicles, it definitely rates up there with such gems as “Double Dragon” and “Bad Reputation.” The only thing scary about this train wreck is the fact that they spent actual money making it.