Bad Movies Beware!
The back cover of this train-wreck touted this flick to be the answer to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I scoffed at this, the very idea that something by Trey Parker could possibly be on the same par as the greatness of RHPS. Have you ever gone to a party and been the only one on the outside of the inside joke, but people still expect you to get it? That was this entire movie, aptly filmed using a VHS camcorder and crayon drawings for artwork. I was surprise, frankly, that the credits were not written on notebook paper. Cannibal! chronicles the adventures of Alfred Packer and his buddies as they tried to travel from Utah to Colorado territory in search of gold. They end up getting lost and resorting to cannibalism to survive. The movie is intended to be a spoof, but even fails in that regard. Even the jokes that were not “inside” were barely laughable. The dialogue was so shoddy and poor that I felt myself growing dumber and dumber with each passing moment, and by the end of it I swear I was drooling and considering using a bedpan as a hat. I’m all about spoofs, but this just stunk. And yet, it still wasn’t as bad as Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Not that I will EVER watch this steaming pile again. I have to draw the line when the sun is burning bright like a baked potato on this sploinkal day. Yes, those are actual lyrics to the main theme. Other fine gems, such as “On Top of You” (referring to his horse), and “Hang the Bastard” grace this nightmare with the awkwardness of putting on a condom before sex.
Verdict: AVIOD! This movie is not much more than a stick of poo marinated in turd-sauce with a serving of corn you ate in high school.