Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

The Legend of Bloody Mary-Legendary Crap

I have to give this movie credit: they tried. Oh my, how they tried. Fairly decent camera work for an indie flick coupled with a compelling story made this watchable. The acting, the downturn of the story and a crappy, poorly-timed twist made it a steaming turd on a platter. Right away I noticed that the acting was horrific. While not as bad as The House that Screamed, it was bad enough for me to tell that the actors studied their fair share of Kevin “I-speak-every-line-with-the-same-tonal-inflection” Costner. The story begins with a boy in college who has a decent GPA, a professor/priest as a mentor, and a girlfriend that is average at best. Not Vicki Secrets Catalog, here. More like Wal-Mart. Anyway, come to find out the guy is plagued by nightmares about the night of his sister’s disappearance. Apparently her friends also vanished that night, but we only get to see Mary come after dude’s sister. The others, the spoiled rich girl and the level-headed black chick, spend the movie moping around and complaining about being scared. Mary, on the other hand, has a completely different background than the Mary we know. She is executed during the Salem Witch Trials for having the illegitimate child of the local preacher. She swears vengeance. Great story, BADLY executed. The priest as a plucky assistant who ends up taking Mary down with a show and saying: “Bitch messed up my hair” as her finished line. Really. The formulaic sex scene is awkwardly inserted at the end of the movie, and the movie itself is not much more than montage after montage of the characters(all of them) brooding. No, really. The plot twist comes when dude finds out that ol’ girl played the Bloody Mary game, and ol’ girl is taken out in the shower. Yeah, she was in the movie twice. Didn’t care.
VERDICT: NO. Walk away. If you think that this move has any redeeming qualities that make it watchable, let alone re-watchable, please see your doctor. You may have a serious mental condition. I would rather wipe myself with heavy-grade sandpaper than watch this movie again.

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One comment on “The Legend of Bloody Mary-Legendary Crap

  1. affablestranger
    November 6, 2010

    I vaguely remember renting this dog from B-Buster a while back. I watched it on 2x speed, which made some of it pretty almost-entertaining.

    Like

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This entry was posted on November 6, 2010 by in Uncategorized.
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