Bad Movies Beware!

The Human Centipede-Not bad, not great

I was surprised by this movie. I was expecting utter crap, since the premise is that mad surgeon wants to connect people mouth to anus and keep them as a pet. The script, however, was pure garbage when it came to plot. Two girls are vacationing in Europe when they get lost in the rain on the way to a party and stumble across the Doc. He takes them in, acts as a gracious host, then slips them drugs and and ties them down in his underground medical facility. The numerous times that these two, particularly the resourceful one, could have gotten away are ridiculous. All they had to do was think clearly for one nanosecond and the doc would have been easy to get away from. Instead, they play up the damsel in distress bit in hopes that someone might come to their rescue. The dialog is no masterpiece either, with one scene where ol’ doc actually says the complete title of the movie. “You will be a Human Centipede. First Sequence.” Isn’t that the equivalent of Arnold saying “I am a Terminator. Two.” I had to laugh. The movie really didn’t begin to get decent until a few scenes after he bonds the girls ass-to-mouth to a Japanese dude at the front, though the scene where he has to take a dump(you had to know this was coming) was almost comical.
Verdict: Nah. Though it hails itself as being violent, there really isn’t that much gore in it, and the gross parts are more left to the imagination. Avoid it unless you are really just curious to see it. Though it was a far cry from Battlefield Earth, I could have been doing better things with my time. Things like eating Liver or drinking Barium Sulfate.


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This entry was posted on January 30, 2011 by in Uncategorized.
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