Bad Movies Beware!
First up in the new quad pack my in-laws got me for Christmas, Pumpkinhead 2 is the sequel to what I consider one of the best monster flicks around. Naturally, since it was a sequel, I expected to be subjected to the most ignorant thing I have ever seen next to Sarah Palin trying to have a debate with Joe Biden. Or Sex and the City. You pick.
Sheriff Braddock moves from New York City back to his quiet hometown in Po-dunk, West Virginia with his wife and daughter. Jenny had a habit of getting into trouble in the city, and things do not change when she falls in with a crowd of punks headed up by the local Judge’s son, Danny. They go out one night and ram an old lady with Danny’s car. As it turns out, she is the old Witch Osie, who is a local legend. She is fine, but warns them to leave when they break into her cabin in the woods. They leave, but Danny stays behind and steals a trinket from Osie, who demands it back. He decks her and runs off as she struggles and accidentally sets her house on fire. They run to a nearby grave and pour the blood onto the body they dig up after chanting a spell the found in the shack. Nothing happens until the next night when Pumpkinhead returns to murder those who wronged him in the past and those who killed his caretaker, Ms. Osie. Braddock remembers a deformed boy he saved as a child and realizes that Pumpkinhead is the boy reincarnated for vengeance. He is able to stop the demon, but not before everyone who wronged him is murdered brutally. The story is dirt simple with nothing behind it other than Soleil Moon Frye pre-reduction. What got me besides the lousy soundtrack was Pumkinhead, himself. Here is a demon who has claws and teeth that could rip you to burger meat. Yet, he uses tools to kill his victims. Okay, I’ll bite. He’s a demon, after all. They don’t play by the rules. He’s also a professional wrestler. Yup. Actually picks a dude up and breaks his back over his knee in what had to have been one of the worst “I’m a dude in a rubber suit” stunts I have seen since Justin Beiber in Concert! If that wasn’t enough, the acting wasn’t as bad as some moves, but not as good as others.
VERDICT: Nah. It’s OKAY, but does not merit a rental. Maybe a borrow, but you’d have to ask yourself if it’s worth the time to actually sit down and watch. In fact, Godzilla was more intelligent than this movie. All I’m saying is that they would have saved a lot of time and effort if they had just named it “Pumpkinhead II: Eh.”