Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2-Randomness Haunts These Woods

Not gonna lie: I love the Blair Witch Project. I love it because it is the first “found footage” film I have ever seen, and the first one to really give me that eerie “what the hell” feeling. Every time I watch it, I catch on to something new. I have a nice sound system, so I am able to pick up on all of the little noises and things that happen in the film.

Too bad the second movie didn’t follow the same idea. In fact it ran screaming from the original concept, turned around, ran back, punched it in the face, and pooped all over its feet.

I felt NOTHING for any of the characters, and was rooting for the witch by the end of it. And a third one, supposedly, is under way.

Just f**king shoot me now. 

As if this wasn’t bad enough, I get to be kicked in the rocks by another bad sequel? I may be prejudging. I bet you all are saying: “You haven’t even seen the third movie yet.”

Well, I’ve seen Eat, Pray, Love. Wasn’t that enough punishment?

ONWARD. 

The movie opens with a small snippet in the beginning to attempt to orient the audiences into Documentary Mode by stating that what we are about to see is a reenactment of the events taking place after the tapes that comprised the first movie were found. We return to Burkittsville to find the small town in chaos as crazed fans of the movie try to tour the locations and sites from the film, and even take tours in an attempt to catch a siting of the Blair Witch. Jeff, a small town film maker recently released from the loony bin, heads up his first tour from his Blair Witch Hunt website with a Wiccan named Erica and two tourists named Stephen and Tristan. They also pick up Kim, who is a Goth psychic. Tristan is pregnant, though we don’t find out until Kim outs her.

The group stays the night at the ruins of Rustin Parr’s house. Parr supposedly killed seven children at the behest of the Blair Witch years ago. A wild night of partying leaves them all without memory of the night before. The cameras have been smashed, the research documents Stephen had brought along shredded. They leave after finding the tapes buried where the first tapes had been found. Tristan has a miscarriage, and they go to Jeff’s place after her night in the hospital.

Jeff lives in an old condemned warehouse, which is the setting for the rest of the movie. In between scenes, and sometimes DURING DIALOGUE the camera cuts to an interrogation room where Kim, Stephen, and Jeff are being hammered by the police.

Eerie events begin to happen, but it all blends in after a while because it’s the same type of thing over and over again. It was like watching a Friday the 13th film, but Jason kills everyone the same way.

The EXACT same way. 

The movie ends with a plot twist that is supposed to make you wonder if the Blair Witch is real, or if Jeff, Stephen, and Kim went bananas and killed Erica, Tristan, and another group of tourists. In fact, the entire movie shifts back and forth between the Blair Witch Project being fact or fiction. It’s not so much as trying to mess with your head. It’s more like the writer couldn’t decide which way to go, so he went both.

News flash, dude: this ain’t a buffet. You can have steak AND chicken, but you can’t push two complete different themes in one movie and think it’ll go over well with the audience.

To bad I can’t get those 2 hours of my life back. Ever. And people wonder why I drink.

 VERDICT: Meh. 

Truthfully, this movie could have been really good. Decent acting and great ideas for scares do not make up for dialogue that doesn’t add up to much more than “What was that?!” “How do we stop it?!”

All of the scares are well done, but the movie was more of a reason to put all of the jump-moments back to back and see how much alike they were. The first one, I think, is a great movie. The second movie(By the way, f**k you, Mr. Title. THERE IS NO BOOK OF SHADOWS) is an attempt to capitalize.

I won’t say that I would rather have my nipples chewed on by a horse on meth, but I wouldn’t watch this movie again unless it was a choice between it and Blood Mania.

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This entry was posted on October 24, 2012 by in Uncategorized.
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