Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

Altered-People Panicking for 90 Minutes

I’ve been looking at this flick for a while now, though I never have really had the urge to watch it until recently.  It’s been sitting in my Netflix queue simmering like a bad bowel movement for a year or two now.
Now most of you know I’m a sci-fi fan (as in “Science Fiction,” not SyFy, the “Crappy Movie Network”), so it seems logical that I would pick this movie next since it’s been a while on the sci-fi side of things.  Alas, this was more of a monster movie.
With events happening for no reason whatsoever.
Three friends capture a raging alien monster in the woods, and they tie the thing down and haul it to a buddy’s house.  Wyatt lives in constant fear, having stemmed from the abduction that he and his friends experienced 15 years prior.
Hope is Wyatt’s very patient live-in girlfriend.  She doesn’t have much of a sense of humor about Wyatt’s buddies showing up in the middle of the night.
In fact, Kristen Stewart has more personality than this chick.
Hope is warned not to look into the alien’s eyes, but she does and is under its control.  She attempts to free it, then tries to kill herself before Wyatt tackles her and ties her up in another room.  
As it turns out, Otis, Duke, Cody, and Wyatt were all abducted along with Otis’s brother back when they were 15.  Otis’s brother is killed during the experiments, and he has been seeking revenge along with Duke and Cody while Wyatt chose to hide.
So far, the story isn’t bad and neither is the acting.  The alien effects are also snazzy, but the transitions make the movie about as hyper-active as a kindergarten class on a cotton candy rush.  Most, if not all of the scenes are people freaking out and screaming.  
So it’s kinda like you’re average episode of Yo, Gabba-Gabba.
Aaaaaanyway, Otis is is bitten and begins to rot, and the Sheriff shows up to answer a distress call from a neighbor.  He sees the alien, but is shot in the struggle and dies.  Hope is still tied up in the other room, but Wyatt lets her loose once the alien is packed up into a cage and put in the back of the van to be hauled off.  
Hope and Wyatt leave with a terminally injured Cody while Duke stays behind with Otis.  Wyatt and Hope discover that Duke swapped the alien out with the Sheriff and plans to torture it.  Duke is killed and Cody dies before Hope and Wyatt can return.  
Wyatt gets into a battle of minds with the alien, but is saved by Otis.  Otis turns on Wyatt and is killed.  The alien tries to battle Wyatt again but is shot in the face by Hope.  They escape into a bunker just as the alien ship destroys the farm.
Oooooookay.
VERDICT: Excitingly uneventful.
One of the things that stuck out like an infected boil on this movie’s a** was the fact that EVERY action was carried out first and then explained later.  I mean come on.  Once or twice is one thing, but when every move and every decision is made on the fly and then explained away later it seems random and the point is missed.
The acting isn’t bad at all, and the effects are great.  I get why they can’t just shoot the alien, but Hope does it anyway and they manage to come out alive.  Would’ve saved about 90 minutes of shouting and drama if they had done it earlier.  
And putting duct tape over your girl’s mouth is usually a bad thing.
All in all this movie is fairly underestimated, but I got a little numb to the action and drama about half-way through.  Okay, I get it.  You got molested by E.T. years ago and you want revenge.  Kill it in a porta-jon somewhere and get away before getting blasted.  Problem solved.
This movie wasn’t terrible, but it could’ve been better in places.  Great effort, but a little less random action followed by lectures would’ve been nice.  Give it a look if you’re feeling up to it, but staying with it takes some effort.
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This entry was posted on August 11, 2013 by in Monster Fails.
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