Bad Movies Beware!
As much as I love horror movies(what was your first freakin’ clue?), I also enjoy a good comedy. Mesh the two, and I’m usually sold. Evil Dead 2 was a classic in the genre, as well as the Return of the Dead movies and Shawn of the Dead.
This movie tries to follow in the footsteps of horror/comedies with slapstick humor and gore galore. Intense moments are interspersed with comedic moments that are meant to entertain and humor the audience. The writer and director only missed two KEY elements:
The first Piranha movie in this series, Piranha 3D, was a hit with the fans. It had plenty of blood, plenty of comedy, and lots of gratuitous nudity that one would expect from this kind of film. The ratings were extremely high considering what it was.
This movie is far different. The director actually managed to take everything from the first movie that was good and poop on it.
Maddy(Danielle Panabaker) returns home from college for the summer to work at the water park that was left to her by her mother to find out that Chet, her sleazy stepfather, has changed it and added an adult-themed section. He has also renamed the place “Big Wet,” and is marketing with sex.
This is, of course, following our opening scene where a dead cow farts hundreds of baby piranha into the water. The fish kill the two farmers, one of them being Gary Busey.
Maddy soon discovers the well pump Chet is using to pump water from Lake Victoria into the park. She tries to turn it off but is stopped by Chet and Kyle. Soon piranha begin to flood the park. People scramble, and Chet tries to escape as the bloodbath ensues.
During his escape he runs through a flag line and is decapitated. His head catapults through the air and lands in the pool where it is devoured by piranha.
A little boy named David calls to Hoff to be rescued. Hoff ignores him until he suddenly has a Baywatch flashback and hurries to David’s rescue, calling him a “little ginger moron.”
Barry and Big Dave hurry to the pump room and turn on the drain in order to pump the water out of the pool. Maddy falls in and is sucked down to the bottom. Barry, despite being unable to swim, jumps in and rescues her. Big Dave dumps a barrel of chlorine into the main pump and lights a match. The explosion kills most of the piranha.
Maddy soon receives a phone call from Mr. Goodman informing her that the fish can now move on dry land. She tells him she knows as one crawls out of the water and eats David’s head. Hoff’s final line of the movie is delivered. Yes, the line that brings the credits.