Bad Movies Beware!

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2-Death by Over-Acting

Over the past three years I’ve gotten multiple requests from people to review Silent Night, Deadly Night.  I was actually surprised by the movie, as I was expecting something worthy of wiping the inside of the toilet with.  Silent Night, Deadly Night is reputed to be one of the worst movies ever filmed; a reputation I happen to disagree with.

That one would be Silent Night, Deadly Night 2.
By no means was the first movie a masterpiece.  It had its flaws, but they didn’t make it un-watchable. However, some raging douche rocket thought that it merited a sequel.  So who wrote this movie?  Jerry Seinfeld?  
Baby Ricky from the first film is all grown up now, and incarcerated in the local nuthouse for the criminally insane.  Dr. Henry shows up to interview Ricky and try to get a sense as to why he committed multiple murders.  
Ricky is absolutely bat guano, which is conveyed by the actor about as subtly as a car crash.  This guy, Eric Freeman, portrays Ricky to the extreme.  He talks with a constant snark, is loud, overly intense, and sarcastic.  
At first, Ricky is hostile towards the doctor.  But he soon begins to recount his childhood.  We begin to see flashbacks of the first movie.  These flashbacks continue, occasionally being interrupted by snippets of Ricky’s interview.
In fact, minus a few basic scenes, they present the entirety of the first Silent Night, Deadly Night film.  This monotony encompasses, literally, HALF of the movie.  Yes.  You can basically fast forward to the mid-point because if you have seen the first film, you have already seen the first half of the second film minus Ricky’s intense and sinister bad acting.
Please shoot me.
After that monotony is over, we see Ricky’s time before being locked up.  He begins to kill those who are bad, shouting “Naughty!” or “Punish!” like his brother before finishing off his victims.  He is actually able to land himself a girlfriend, but ends up killing her when she trips out because Ricky killed her ex boyfriend after he admitted to having sex with her before she and Ricky met.
Okay, back-pedaling.  How in the name of Kirstie Alley’s fat a** on wheat did Ricky have intimate details of Billy’s doings while he was locked up and Billy was miles away in town?!  I mean, I get it.  He keeps saying “Billy told me.”  When?!  When a**hole?!  While he was laying on the floor full of bullet holes?!  Because that was the only other time you saw him the whole friggin’ movie!
Rant complete.  For now.
After killing his girlfriend, Billy goes on a rampage and shoots multiple people in the street.  In fact, he shoots more people than he stabs or cuts up.  For a slasher flick, the low amounts of boobies and blood are quite unusual.  It’s as if they decided to just take the Slasher Film Handbook and completely disregard the chapter on appropriate amounts of gore and topless girls for a successful slasher movie.  
We come back to “Present Day” to find that Billy has murdered Dr. Henry and escaped.  Cut to Mother Superior’s house.  She is now retired, in a wheelchair, and-WHAT THE RAIN FOREST MONKEY-F**K HAPPENED TO HER FACE?!  
Instead of getting the original actress to play Mother Superior, they got some other stand in to do it and made her face look like she forgot herself one evening and had a few shots down at the Zombie Stomp Bar and STD Factory.  
Aaaaanway.  They fight, and Sister Mary arrives just in time to find Mother Superior sitting at the table.  Mother Superior’s head topples off, and Ricky emerges from the shadows only to be gunned down by a group of cops.  Sister Mary awakens from a faint and screams at the sight of Mother Superior’s head.  Ricky opens his eyes and grins.
Even though he took a slug to the chest.  Go figure.
VERDICT: Coal in your f**king stocking.
What.  The.  Hell.  Sometimes sequels should never be made.  Let’s look at The Matrix.  Prime example.  I was done with the first film.  It had a solid ending, and it was understood that Neo was going to bring down the Matrix.  It could’ve done without a sequel, it could’ve had a sequel.  They went with the latter, and made two movies that were considered, by most, to be world-class toilet bowl mold.
Silent Night, Deadly Night was a movie that could’ve stood on its own.  It needed to stand on its own.  Hell, take it or leave it.  The movie isn’t fantastic anyway.  But Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 is a weird streak on the mirror in the men’s restroom mirror at the Gentleman’s Club.  
This movie was an effort to cash in on the cult following from the first film.  Problem is this: Cult film fans are FANATICAL.  They have certain expectations that must be met.  This film didn’t even come close.
Eric Freeman couldn’t act his way into the Kevin Costner School of Bad Acting.  He portrays Ricky’s insanity in a way that makes him a BGB(Big Goofy Ba***rd).  He twitches his face incessantly, I guess because some pompous, donut-munching, has-been acting coach told him it made the character look more intense.
Bulls**t, Eric.  It makes you look like you’re have a grand mal seizure exclusively in your face.  His eyebrows give away his real age as they are so large they look like they might come to life and eat his face.
But no.  That would’ve made the movie interesting.
 The chick that played his girlfriend also played Robin in Friday the 13th Part 7: A New Blood, and wasn’t much better in that one either.  The rest of the cast was no-names.  In fact, all of them were no-names.  Everything they’ve done since then has just been more obscure movies and voice-work.
It’s considered a slasher film even though Ricky shoots most of his victims, and runs one over with a jeep. 
When I hear the term “Slasher Movie” I think three things: Blood, Carnage, and Boobies.  This had melee, vehicles, and guns.
So it was Halo on the 8-Bit NES.  I get it now!!
I would rather have my nipples force-fed into an over-sized electric pencil sharpener while yard gnomes use spiked yard flamingos filled with concrete to beat on my scrotum like a piñata than watch this movie again.

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This entry was posted on December 24, 2013 by in Cheesy Slasher Flix.
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