Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

The Witches Hammer: This spell might make you lick a window…

   WHAT. A. YEAR. First, I get knocked on the damned head so hard that I end up under the care of a neurologist. Don’t worry, I’m fine now, but … Continue reading

September 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Jack Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman—Don’t eat yellow snow

  Another Yuletide film to fill us all with holiday cheer! Well, at least I tried to find a silver lining. I did some digging early on while trying to … Continue reading

December 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

Silent But Deadly: Never come between a man and his goat.

What can one expect from a movie named after a fart? This is another one from my buddy at work. Silent But Deadly stars Jason Mewes as Thomas, a functional … Continue reading

July 4, 2016 · Leave a comment

Killjoy 2: Cramming your Happy Meal up your a** a second time!

Oh God, a second one? Killjoy was a Blacksploitation/Independent Horror movie that told the story of a boy being bullied by a gang and called upon Killjoy the Killer Clown … Continue reading

January 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

The Invisible Strangler: What you can’t see can still make you wonder what the hell…

  Jesus, that is the WORST poster ever… Oh. Happy New Year! Okay, yeah, I’m a little late to the party. But, what better way to ring in a brand … Continue reading

January 7, 2016 · Leave a comment

Elves: The angriest Nazi midget EVER

 Back into the timeless holiday classics that have lasted generations! Back into the films that defined not only the holiday season but the industry as a whole with their rich … Continue reading

December 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Christmas Evil: Not all Santa’s reindeer are flyin’.

 INTO THE HOLIDAY SEASON!! That’s right! Time to sip eggnog, listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas episodes of our favorite shows, and spend time with the family! Or just work, … Continue reading

December 8, 2015 · 1 Comment

Zombeavers: The Muppets go nuts.

 Ever wondered what roadkill tastes like? Yeah, me either. So why in the f**k would ANYONE in their right mind watch this movie?! Well, a couple of reasons, really. It’s … Continue reading

July 4, 2015 · Leave a comment

Followed Home: Like a bad case of the clap.

Have you ever been followed home by a puppy? Do some real jogging down memory lane here, people. That little puppy that followed you home. You had high hopes of … Continue reading

May 22, 2015 · Leave a comment

Trailer Park of Terror: Deep-Fried fun for the whole family…’cept the kiddos

 Okay, that was awesome!  Ended up at G2K Games not long ago and my wife tossed a stack of movies my way. What catches my eye? A DVD cover that … Continue reading

May 7, 2015 · 1 Comment

Killjoy: Double McTurd with cheese

What the holy hell?  I’ve seen some crap in my day, and more often than not since I started Fail-Flix. Hell, I’ve even seen bad clown movies, if you’ll recall … Continue reading

April 23, 2015 · 1 Comment

A Bay of Blood: Water not potable

I got the suggestion for this movie from a video reviewer in the Netherlands I follow who goes by the screen name HorribleReviews. If you haven’t checked him out yet, … Continue reading

April 12, 2015 · Leave a comment

Bunnyman- Easter egg stuffed with s**t.

Let’s be honest for a minute, people.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was one of the most iconic and influential horror movies of all time. It unforgivingly raised the bar in … Continue reading

March 22, 2015 · Leave a comment

Chopping Mall: Plot holes from hell, killer robots, and camel toe.

Um…  Okay. So I got totally deceived by the cover of this train wreck. I mean, really. You show me a shopping bag full of body parts, and I’m supposed … Continue reading

February 17, 2015 · 4 Comments

Slaughter High-School Spirit is in the Crapper

Ah, 1986!  1986 was a good year for film, noted for landmark releases like Crocodile Dundee, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Top Gun, and Aliens (my personal favorite) just to name … Continue reading

January 7, 2015 · Leave a comment

Silent Night-Santa’s Off His Meds

It’s Christmastime again in Movieland!  That’s right! Tis the season to eat, drink, be merry, give to your fellow man, and deck the halls with cinematic poo-poo! This year I … Continue reading

December 12, 2014 · Leave a comment

Interview with a Serial Killer-A True Diamond in the Compost

It never fails. Out of every $5 DVD four-pack you find in the dump bin at your local Best Buy, there’s always one gem and three unforgivably bad piles of … Continue reading

November 12, 2014 · Leave a comment

Disturbed-Beer Goggles won’t save this one.

What in the hell did I just watch? In my time as a reviewer of all things cinematically s**ty, I’ve found a few gems that just stand out like boils … Continue reading

November 2, 2014 · Leave a comment

Frozen in Fear- Like Eating Yellow Snow…

I thought I ordered this tea without ice. Argh. Back in the saddle with movie number two from the Serial Killers collection I got from a buddy at work.  He … Continue reading

October 24, 2014 · Leave a comment
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