Bad Movies Beware!

Horror High-Jekyll and Hyde, but with hormones.

Ah, high school! Teen angst, peer pressure, hormone-driven stupidity, and chemistry experiments that turn people into mutated killing machines. In other words: the good ol’ days!

June 21, 2019 · 2 Comments

Freaked-Oh THAT’S what they call it now, eh?

An obscure film from the early 90s that creeps up on you like a bad case of saber-toothed crotch crickets? Count me in! Here is the youtube link to the film! … Continue reading

February 4, 2019 · 1 Comment

The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari-Does anyone else keep their somnambulist in a box?

Let’s talk about a one hundred year old movie! Featuring Special Guests Valentine Wolfe and Bill Mulligan! Make sure to click the links below to catch Valentine Wolfe’s music, and … Continue reading

February 4, 2019 · Leave a comment

Krampus Unleashed: Like a fart in a room of small children…

Another steaming pile of anal paste that features Krampus as the central “Jason Voorhees” character and fails on an epic level. Let’s have some egg nog and wish for some … Continue reading

December 24, 2018 · 1 Comment

Mother Krampus: Eat your cookies or else…

Upon further research, the alternate title is “The 12 Deaths of Christmas.” Yeah, should’ve stuck with that. Otherwise, it’s surprisingly ok!

December 22, 2018 · Leave a comment

The Elf: The Elf on the Shelf has had enough of your shit…

It’s Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature is stirring except that little doll you bought your kid because she HAD to have that demon doll that wields … Continue reading

December 20, 2018 · Leave a comment

Krampus 2: Return of the Christmas Booger!

Krampus and Surly Redneck Santa return for another round-up of naughty kids in this holiday turd! Chaos, mayhem, sex, and a 5:25am alarm because recording a podcast in my truck … Continue reading

December 15, 2018 · Leave a comment

Halloween: Shatner never looked this good…

Join me for a quick look at the Halloween franchise! The first film is a landmark masterpiece that kick-started an entire genre! The rest of the movies are…well…yeah.

November 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

Diabolical: Teleport me a beer.

This one has been floating around my Netflix feed like that one turd that just won’t flush. Check out how awesome(read “migraine-inducing”) I thought this liqui-turd was!

October 14, 2018 · Leave a comment

The Witches Hammer: This spell might make you lick a window…

   WHAT. A. YEAR. First, I get knocked on the damned head so hard that I end up under the care of a neurologist. Don’t worry, I’m fine now, but … Continue reading

September 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Athena: The bedbugs found the steroids again, Mom.

Ah, indie films! It’s no secret that I have a great amount of love and respect for indies. The fact that you’re ballsy enough to actually A) beg for funding … Continue reading

January 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Krampus: The Reckoning—I reckon they was naughty.

  Time for more Holiday Cheer!! I’ve had a LOT of people tell me they want my feedback on the Krampus flick that came out last year. Well, I’ve been … Continue reading

December 24, 2016 · 1 Comment

Dark Dungeons-RPGs, God, and co-eds.

Time for another indie! I was at Congregate this past July and spent the entire time speaking on panels when I wasn’t at the table selling books. One of the … Continue reading

December 2, 2016 · Leave a comment

The Brotherhood of Satan: Old People are evil, toys are deadly, film at 11

  Back in action after a hiatus, and this is what I get? Figures. I figured a good return after a vacation should be heralded by something unique. Something a … Continue reading

October 13, 2016 · Leave a comment

Blood Couple: Never share from the same corpse.

Let me start with this: There is a LOT to say about this movie. Don’t worry, I won’t drag it out. However, this won’t be a normal review. If I’m … Continue reading

April 2, 2016 · Leave a comment

Devil Girl from Mars: Show-and-Tell will never be the same.

  Remember Kindergarten? Everyone looked forward to Show-and-Tell. You were welcome to bring in your favorite toy or item, show it off to the class, and talk about it. I … Continue reading

March 12, 2016 · 2 Comments

Friday the 13th: The Game—A Must for Family Game Night!

  Okay, let’s do some real talk. No, not that. Didn’t your parents talk to you about that?! Ew. Of any franchise out there, Friday the 13th is my all-time … Continue reading

February 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

Elves: The angriest Nazi midget EVER

 Back into the timeless holiday classics that have lasted generations! Back into the films that defined not only the holiday season but the industry as a whole with their rich … Continue reading

December 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Christmas Evil: Not all Santa’s reindeer are flyin’.

 INTO THE HOLIDAY SEASON!! That’s right! Time to sip eggnog, listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas episodes of our favorite shows, and spend time with the family! Or just work, … Continue reading

December 8, 2015 · 1 Comment
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