Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

The Witches Hammer: This spell might make you lick a window…

   WHAT. A. YEAR. First, I get knocked on the damned head so hard that I end up under the care of a neurologist. Don’t worry, I’m fine now, but … Continue reading

September 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Lair of the White Worm: They warned you about her in college…

This is what I get for going on sabbatical. Back in April, shortly after I posted the review for The Alligator People, I suffered a work injury that put me … Continue reading

June 22, 2017 · 2 Comments

The Alligator People: Dude, moisturize…

People: I’M BACK!!! The past few months have been a roller coaster for me. Tried to expand out Fail-Flix to video reviews, and that pretty much crashed and burned due … Continue reading

April 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Athena: The bedbugs found the steroids again, Mom.

Ah, indie films! It’s no secret that I have a great amount of love and respect for indies. The fact that you’re ballsy enough to actually A) beg for funding … Continue reading

January 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Jack Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman—Don’t eat yellow snow

  Another Yuletide film to fill us all with holiday cheer! Well, at least I tried to find a silver lining. I did some digging early on while trying to … Continue reading

December 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

Krampus: The Reckoning—I reckon they was naughty.

  Time for more Holiday Cheer!! I’ve had a LOT of people tell me they want my feedback on the Krampus flick that came out last year. Well, I’ve been … Continue reading

December 24, 2016 · 1 Comment

Demon Wind: Something smells like s**t.

Christ, this movie. I’ve been swamped lately with other writing projects, which has slowed down my intake of bad movies a fair amount. Frankly, I can’t decide if that’s a … Continue reading

November 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster: Someone Had Too Much Time

Christ. Well, I’m back from the dead here on Fail-Flix. Been a hell of a hiatus, I can tell you. ConCarolinas went great, and I’m already working on a few … Continue reading

August 20, 2016 · Leave a comment

Sharknado 3-Oh Hell No!: The Asylum found their cash cow

Sharknado 3-Oh Hell No!: The Asylum found their cash cow YES! ANOTHER SHARKNADO! Typically, a sequel is indicative of one of two things: the storyline left off and needs to … Continue reading

August 16, 2016 · Leave a comment

Godmonster of Indian Flats: How one over-complicates a mutant sheep

  It’s been a while since I needed Tylenol Migraine Strength to finish a movie. I watched this on the fly, along with The Incredible Melting Man, as part of … Continue reading

June 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

Fiend Without a Face: Imaginary friends from Hell…

What the bloody blue HELL did I just watch…? This pile of donkey excrement hails from 1958 and is part of an era where the monster movie-slash-creature feature was reveling … Continue reading

May 25, 2016 · Leave a comment

The Green Slime: RISE OF THE BOOGER-PEOPLE

Almost thirty years ago, my brother and I saw this movie on a Sunday program, though it’s been so long that I can’t even remember what the name of the … Continue reading

May 8, 2016 · 2 Comments

Reptilicus: Worst case of tapeworm EVER.

Anyone else a Godzilla fan? I was a huge Godzilla fan when I was a kid. I’ve watched so many of the films I can’t even remember which ones anymore. … Continue reading

April 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

Devil Girl from Mars: Show-and-Tell will never be the same.

  Remember Kindergarten? Everyone looked forward to Show-and-Tell. You were welcome to bring in your favorite toy or item, show it off to the class, and talk about it. I … Continue reading

March 12, 2016 · 2 Comments

Attack of the Crab Monsters: What can happen if you don’t wrap it…

Ah, the 50s! The 1950s was known as the heyday for monster flicks much like the 1980s was known as the decade for the slasher film. Gems (and donkey turds) … Continue reading

February 9, 2016 · 1 Comment

Elves: The angriest Nazi midget EVER

 Back into the timeless holiday classics that have lasted generations! Back into the films that defined not only the holiday season but the industry as a whole with their rich … Continue reading

December 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Sound of Horror: Silent but deadly goes out the window…

  Onward to Spain! This flick from Spain circa 1966 is in black and white and got a slack-a$$ed dub job for American audiences because, let’s face it, not many … Continue reading

November 29, 2015 · Leave a comment

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell: Disappointing, but not why you think.

 What better studio to kick off the month with than Troma? Troma Studios is famous (read: guilty) for gems such as The Toxic Avenger and Sgt. Kabukiman. Let’s also not … Continue reading

November 8, 2015 · Leave a comment

Flu Birds: Don’t think chicken soup is gonna fix this mess.

Of all the crap, and I do mean CRAAAAP, that I’ve watched, this movie…THIIIIS movie… Okay, so it’s not the worst I’ve ever seen. It’s up there, though. Keep in … Continue reading

October 29, 2015 · 1 Comment
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