Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

Jack Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman—Don’t eat yellow snow

  Another Yuletide film to fill us all with holiday cheer! Well, at least I tried to find a silver lining. I did some digging early on while trying to … Continue reading

December 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever: S**tty Kitty…

‘Tis the season, people! Ah, yes… once again we arrive at the most wonderful time of year. It’s a time of giving, a time of togetherness, and a time when … Continue reading

December 19, 2016 · 1 Comment

Demon Wind: Something smells like s**t.

Christ, this movie. I’ve been swamped lately with other writing projects, which has slowed down my intake of bad movies a fair amount. Frankly, I can’t decide if that’s a … Continue reading

November 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

Standing Ovation: The s**t-show must go on…

Is it any surprise that I’m listening to Amon Amarth while I’m writing this review? Yes, I need Melodic Viking Death Metal to clear my head after being eye-gouged by … Continue reading

September 18, 2016 · Leave a comment

Godmonster of Indian Flats: How one over-complicates a mutant sheep

  It’s been a while since I needed Tylenol Migraine Strength to finish a movie. I watched this on the fly, along with The Incredible Melting Man, as part of … Continue reading

June 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

Deadly Prey: Never underestimate the jorts.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: it’s Rambo with blond hair. There is a subtle difference, however, that sets Deadly Prey apart from Rambo.  Rambo was cool. Let me back … Continue reading

February 22, 2016 · 1 Comment

Elves: The angriest Nazi midget EVER

 Back into the timeless holiday classics that have lasted generations! Back into the films that defined not only the holiday season but the industry as a whole with their rich … Continue reading

December 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny: (Just stares at screen, blinking. No words.)

What in the unholy, unnatural, Godforsaken, s**t-flinging, cornbread HELL is that rancid smell coming from my computer?! Oh, it’s just Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.  Christ. Just about every … Continue reading

December 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

Christmas Evil: Not all Santa’s reindeer are flyin’.

 INTO THE HOLIDAY SEASON!! That’s right! Time to sip eggnog, listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas episodes of our favorite shows, and spend time with the family! Or just work, … Continue reading

December 8, 2015 · 1 Comment

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell: Disappointing, but not why you think.

 What better studio to kick off the month with than Troma? Troma Studios is famous (read: guilty) for gems such as The Toxic Avenger and Sgt. Kabukiman. Let’s also not … Continue reading

November 8, 2015 · Leave a comment

The Revenge of Dr. X-Um…wow…

So yeah. That happened. This one is a rare gem (if the word “gem” was Latin for “dog turd”) that was brought to my attention by Bill Mulligan. As it … Continue reading

October 5, 2015 · 3 Comments

The Legend of Harrow Woods: Quoth the Raven “Jesus, this sucks.”

 I asked for it. And I got it. Ugh. Upon wrapping Zardoz, I was a little stuck on what to watch next when this movie was thrown at me like … Continue reading

September 20, 2015 · 2 Comments

Zardoz-Bad head…

Another one suggested by Bill Mulligan, Zardoz has actually been on my radar for about two years. It’s not an easy movie to find, and I ended up hitting Amazon … Continue reading

September 7, 2015 · Leave a comment

Zombie Lake: Even zombies have feelings…

I’ve seen some real s**tstains in my day, but this movie takes the cake. It was released in 1981 in France as Le Lac des Morts Vivants and was directed … Continue reading

August 25, 2015 · Leave a comment

Zombeavers: The Muppets go nuts.

 Ever wondered what roadkill tastes like? Yeah, me either. So why in the f**k would ANYONE in their right mind watch this movie?! Well, a couple of reasons, really. It’s … Continue reading

July 4, 2015 · Leave a comment

Killjoy: Double McTurd with cheese

What the holy hell?  I’ve seen some crap in my day, and more often than not since I started Fail-Flix. Hell, I’ve even seen bad clown movies, if you’ll recall … Continue reading

April 23, 2015 · 1 Comment

Santa Claws-The litter box smells weird.

DEAR GOD. What better way to wrap the season than with a movie that dishes out the cute with all the grace of a Super Soaker filled with napalm?  And … Continue reading

December 25, 2014 · 1 Comment

Santa Claus- I want what Santa’s smoking for Christmas, Mommy!

…um, mark this day on your calendar. I don’t know where to begin. I have just watched, hands down, the most messed up and disturbing Christmas movie ever. Throw in … Continue reading

December 16, 2014 · Leave a comment

Inara: The Jungle Girl-Is Brain Liquification an STD?

Another one for the stew. I was given this movie by a fan that insists that it is actually the worst movie ever made. I wouldn’t go so far as … Continue reading

November 29, 2014 · Leave a comment
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