Fail-Flix

Bad Movies Beware!

Standing Ovation: The s**t-show must go on…

Is it any surprise that I’m listening to Amon Amarth while I’m writing this review? Yes, I need Melodic Viking Death Metal to clear my head after being eye-gouged by … Continue reading

September 18, 2016 · Leave a comment

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster: Someone Had Too Much Time

Christ. Well, I’m back from the dead here on Fail-Flix. Been a hell of a hiatus, I can tell you. ConCarolinas went great, and I’m already working on a few … Continue reading

August 20, 2016 · Leave a comment

Sharknado 3-Oh Hell No!: The Asylum found their cash cow

Sharknado 3-Oh Hell No!: The Asylum found their cash cow YES! ANOTHER SHARKNADO! Typically, a sequel is indicative of one of two things: the storyline left off and needs to … Continue reading

August 16, 2016 · Leave a comment

Silent But Deadly: Never come between a man and his goat.

What can one expect from a movie named after a fart? This is another one from my buddy at work. Silent But Deadly stars Jason Mewes as Thomas, a functional … Continue reading

July 4, 2016 · Leave a comment

Godmonster of Indian Flats: How one over-complicates a mutant sheep

  It’s been a while since I needed Tylenol Migraine Strength to finish a movie. I watched this on the fly, along with The Incredible Melting Man, as part of … Continue reading

June 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

Fiend Without a Face: Imaginary friends from Hell…

What the bloody blue HELL did I just watch…? This pile of donkey excrement hails from 1958 and is part of an era where the monster movie-slash-creature feature was reveling … Continue reading

May 25, 2016 · Leave a comment

The Green Slime: RISE OF THE BOOGER-PEOPLE

Almost thirty years ago, my brother and I saw this movie on a Sunday program, though it’s been so long that I can’t even remember what the name of the … Continue reading

May 8, 2016 · 2 Comments

Reptilicus: Worst case of tapeworm EVER.

Anyone else a Godzilla fan? I was a huge Godzilla fan when I was a kid. I’ve watched so many of the films I can’t even remember which ones anymore. … Continue reading

April 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

Blood Couple: Never share from the same corpse.

Let me start with this: There is a LOT to say about this movie. Don’t worry, I won’t drag it out. However, this won’t be a normal review. If I’m … Continue reading

April 2, 2016 · Leave a comment

Devil Girl from Mars: Show-and-Tell will never be the same.

  Remember Kindergarten? Everyone looked forward to Show-and-Tell. You were welcome to bring in your favorite toy or item, show it off to the class, and talk about it. I … Continue reading

March 12, 2016 · 2 Comments

Deadly Prey: Never underestimate the jorts.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: it’s Rambo with blond hair. There is a subtle difference, however, that sets Deadly Prey apart from Rambo.  Rambo was cool. Let me back … Continue reading

February 22, 2016 · 1 Comment

Friday the 13th: The Game—A Must for Family Game Night!

  Okay, let’s do some real talk. No, not that. Didn’t your parents talk to you about that?! Ew. Of any franchise out there, Friday the 13th is my all-time … Continue reading

February 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

Attack of the Crab Monsters: What can happen if you don’t wrap it…

Ah, the 50s! The 1950s was known as the heyday for monster flicks much like the 1980s was known as the decade for the slasher film. Gems (and donkey turds) … Continue reading

February 9, 2016 · 1 Comment

Killjoy 2: Cramming your Happy Meal up your a** a second time!

Oh God, a second one? Killjoy was a Blacksploitation/Independent Horror movie that told the story of a boy being bullied by a gang and called upon Killjoy the Killer Clown … Continue reading

January 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

The Invisible Strangler: What you can’t see can still make you wonder what the hell…

  Jesus, that is the WORST poster ever… Oh. Happy New Year! Okay, yeah, I’m a little late to the party. But, what better way to ring in a brand … Continue reading

January 7, 2016 · Leave a comment

Elves: The angriest Nazi midget EVER

 Back into the timeless holiday classics that have lasted generations! Back into the films that defined not only the holiday season but the industry as a whole with their rich … Continue reading

December 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny: (Just stares at screen, blinking. No words.)

What in the unholy, unnatural, Godforsaken, s**t-flinging, cornbread HELL is that rancid smell coming from my computer?! Oh, it’s just Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.  Christ. Just about every … Continue reading

December 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

Christmas Evil: Not all Santa’s reindeer are flyin’.

 INTO THE HOLIDAY SEASON!! That’s right! Time to sip eggnog, listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas episodes of our favorite shows, and spend time with the family! Or just work, … Continue reading

December 8, 2015 · 1 Comment

Sound of Horror: Silent but deadly goes out the window…

  Onward to Spain! This flick from Spain circa 1966 is in black and white and got a slack-a$$ed dub job for American audiences because, let’s face it, not many … Continue reading

November 29, 2015 · Leave a comment
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